It's Two Post Tuesday! I almost kinda forgot, but here I am. Trying to honor my commitment to you. I wasn't sure about what to write today, but this was on the list and as always, I got into conversation with someone about this very same topic. You know how the rest goes.
Can I be honest? (Of course I can.) When I started, I said I could paint on just about anything. It's true. I can. The awesomeness may vary from item to item, but have the ability to. I think, maybe in the beginning I was more willing to TRY new things. However, it's been about three years now and quite frankly, I know I'm better at some things than others. I know there are some things that make for better canvas than others. I know some things aren't worth me buying the additional materials to make them happen, but most of all, I know that there are just some things I'd rather not do. I know some people don't mind that I can't do some things perfectly. They'd buy it anyway and even try to get a lower price. What they don't understand is that, despite my lakk of natural or practiced skill at certain items, I'd still give it 100%, which would require the same amount of effort and attention as something I'm really good at, except I'd end up cursing my way through it. Then I'll post the picture, at least one other person will love it, then they'll ask me to do it again. Vicious cycle. Just have to stop it before it starts. It's just not worth the dollar, headache, or somebody asking me to do it again.
This year, the SYM1,000 is to help me take bakk some of my freedom. To produce things that make me happy. That make me feel good. That inspire me. That can open up MY eyes (and yours) as to how great I am/could be. I don't like telling people I don't/won't be doing whatever kind of craziness they ask for, but I do. I can't stress myself out over the few hours of something I don't even want to do. It's not about the money for me. If it was, I would have QUIT two years ago. Shoot...I could quit tomorrow. lol. I like getting orders. I like getting emails from paypal telling me a payment has cleared, but I like it most of all when I create something you knew nothing about, something that I came up with in my own mind, and then you ordering that. Not saying, "I like it, but make it again in green." Or add this or that, but "Sym, I like it JUST the way you did it, send it to my house." I don't get to explore that often, because I usually only paint when I have orders. This time, I'm painting whether you order or not and I'm not going to accept any orders that take away from this journey. Maybe part of the journey is learning to say no and recognizing that although we all KNOW I could, doesn't mean I should.
This is the time for me to carve out that little piece of joy. I'm trying to maintain that space with as little additional stress and interruption as possible. I can't not do shirts, but I certainly can decline your order for those "happy mother's day" ceramic tiles you want. I apologize sincerely. I do appreciate the fact that you would trust me with such a task, but honestly, it's not where I see this going. It's not where I want it to go. I have two main goals here...paint and sell all these clothes and random items I have yet to paint and figure out what the future holds for SYM1. I'm trying really hard to stay within areas I am willing to go, so every now and again, I get to turn down some money! It's not fun, but I think about all the cursing I'd be doing trying to get it done. If I wanted to curse and complain about my job, I might as well pakk up the paint and go get one!