TPT: Silly Boxes

Sometimes people ask/say the darnedest things and it's hard not to snap. A lot of it is ignorance, but sometimes it's just that they live a life of limits. They live within a box and when approached by those of us who live outside it, they invite us in thinking that they are doing us a favor, when in reality they may very well be offending our way of life. Everybody is not going to fit into that box. Right now my issue is still...how do I politely decline your request?

I understand a lot of it is genuine concern that I make as much money as possible (because we all know that's MOST important)...even though most of this concern is from people who've never purchased anything. Full price or on sale. I understand that some people don't understand why they have to clokk into someone else's job and I can work across from my bedroom in my pjs if I choose. I understand that they may not understand the amount of effort and time I put into doing what I do, because all they see is the finished product. I know it's a difficult idea to understand from their side of the box. I get that. However, I do find that there is a challenge to remain tactful when people say some of the things they say with no regard to what they are implying. That their suggestions, may in fact be interfering with the integrity of my work. That their comments may be offensive. I know what condescension is. To think that I have not or do not notice is asking that I behave like the person they think I am. I think that's asking for too much. lol. I'm smart dammit!

Anywho, the widespread lakk of vision really bothers me. What's the point of doing what's been done? What's the point of doing it the way someone else did it? And how exactly does that fit into who I am or what I'm trying to do? It doesn't. I'm an artist. You live in the box. I paint it. And no, I don't want to come in. Thanks for the invitation.


Big Numbers: Day 146

This is really from yesterday. I fell asleep DURING the game, so ya'll know I was pooped after I managed to catch that HEAT win!!! I went straight to bed. But I'm not going to finish anything today. I'm busy taking care of home. So here's what I did:

85,86/365 and 182,183/1000 "Blokked at Sunset"

85,86/365 and 182,183/1000 "Blokked at Sunset"

I LOVE the colors. I just wanted to do something very organic. I see some really cool patterns on summer dresses and they seem very....free, so I tried it here. I really wish I had done this on maybe 5 panels. I think it would have been much better if I could have extended the colors a little further. I will do another. With the five panels. Because I can. Final count for the day...2. That puts me at...183/817/219 to go. Woop! (Not really).

So, I might be a lil full of myself....

Disclaimer: I'm being all of myself today. I'm feeling just a little frustrated....I'm going to curse. I do that in real life, so...ummm...here it is.

Why do I think I MIGHT be a lil full of myself? I SWEAR people are always paying attention to what I do and what I'm doing/saying. At least I feel like ya'll are, but maybe I'm overestimating how many of you really give a fukk. Maybe it only appears like you all are paying attention because I know for a fact that I made an honest attempt to post, on numerous occasions, that I was NOT doing greek items anymore. I know I sent it to the group twice. I know I posted links to the blog...repeatedly. I know I even gave at least a two weeks heads up via status message on my profile and the fan page. Apparently, that's not enough to reach across the internet and nearly a month later...EVERYBODY wants to go hard for SYM.

When I was literally, I felt, spending precious time asking/reminding you that you might want to tell a friend...or invite people to the fan page...or that maybe you should order anything you wanted before I called it a day...nobody gave a fukk. The numbers on the fan page did not go up. My post views did not go up. I got a single order from ONE person that didn't want to miss his chance to get a greek item. And I wasn't even in the least bit mad. I didn't and still don't want to do those types of items any more. I hadn't been getting a lot of orders for greek orders anyway. BUT...2 months later...ya'll have been ASKING about these darn shirts. Ya'll have been posting pics...and telling people how great I am. Ya'll have been tagging your friends in photos of stuff they can't even buy. WTF for? I mean, I am still awesome. But I can't help but feel some kinda way. I know the Lord is testing my resolve. I can't even begin to explain to you how little greek stuff I was doing prior to making my announcement. Actually I can. If you look at the SYM1,000 album, you won't see a single CUSTOM greek item until you get to around the week I said I wasn't doing another one. lol. I know had I not said anything, nobody would be asking about this stuff now. I know it's a test. But look...

Now I gotta tell all these excited people I'm not taking their order, which makes me really upset, because not only do I have to turn down money (which couldn't be more helpful in my situation), but I'm about to disappoint some people who only long to experience the joy that is a hand crafted piece of SYM1 awesomeness, but if I take one order, I gotta take them all. I don't get paid enough to be that miserable. I'm stikking to my guns this time. I ain't gotta like it, but it must be done. 

I'm so honored to hear how much you love the work that I did for your organizations. Loving it is AWESOME...and I appreciate that, but if you're not bakkin it w/ BUYING it or getting someone else to, it's not doing anybody any good. If I have to produce stuff that doesn't sell, I might as well be producing things that make me happy. This is how the world works. This is why your favorite shows get canceled. This is why the contestant you like, but never voted for on idol doesn't win. This is why I can't get the best chocolate I've ever had up the street anymore. And I'm sad that maybe, because they can't get a shirt to proudly display their letters that someone may never experience the joy that is SYM1, but it's something we all have to come to terms with. It bothers me, but I'm content and will continue to stand firm on my decision. I hope that you're comfortable with it...because I can't say I made it all on my own. 


Big Numbers: Day 143 INKBLOTS!!!

I love these things. It's a testament to my right brainedness. I love them because they are what you make them. They are simple and leave lots of room for imagination. I've done them many times before, since elementary school and they are still so much fun to me. I never know what the end result will be. EXCITING!

So, yesterday I decided to do them again for the 36$5. I've never tried it on canvas before, and since it usually requires symmetry by folding paper in half, and you can't fold these canvas boards, I wasn't sure what I'd do.  I tried this first technique on two. Decided I liked it, so I did it again on two more. I have another idea so I can get the entire picture on 1 board, so I'm going to try that next. I had such a good time. What do you see?

77,78/365 and 174,175/1000 "Crazy 1"

77,78/365 and 174,175/1000 "Crazy 1"

79,80/365 and  176,177/1000 "Crazy Too" 

79,80/365 and  176,177/1000 "Crazy Too" 

81,82/365 and 178,179/1000 "Crazy 3"

81,82/365 and 178,179/1000 "Crazy 3"

83,84/365 and 180,181/1000 "Crazy For?"

83,84/365 and 180,181/1000 "Crazy For?"

I rotated them so you won't be at home trying to flip your laptop upside down. Have fun, and be sure to comment and let me know what you see. Final count for the day 8! I'm at 181/819/222 to go. Progress. I'll take it.


Big Numbers: Blast From The Past Day 120


I skipped a piece. Didn't mean to. Just forgot to share it with ya'll. Threw my numbers off a little bit. Even though I can barely count how many days/pieces I've completed from day to day, I hadn't misnumbered a piece yet. Until I got to this one. Well actually the one after it. All because I forgot to show ya'll! That won't happen again. I hope. It's not my intent to keep secrets. :D

168/1000 "iKikk Ass"

So, I painted this piece for my mommy for mother's day. I just wanted it to be cute like. I was trying to get her to smile. Her name means bee...honey bee...bumble bee...danger bee? Something. Insects of the impossible with a fierce sting. Creators of the impossible, never expiring, sweetener and the recently elusive. Where have all the honey bees gone? *sad face* Maybe they got what Mommy got and had to abandon their jobs like Mommy has to fight the fight that mommy's fighting. Hence the boxing gloves. Who knows?

Last October Mommy was diagnosed with cervical cancer. OH SNAP! That's never good news. The doctor decided that the best course of action would be chemotherapy. There was too much to remove. Too much for radiation. So, “battle beat cancer” ensued. Mommy began to call her treatments “kikk ass” sessions. At first the chemo was kikking her ass...then I guess she decided she would kikk chemo's ass a little bit too. Hence the boxing gloves. From what we had been told, she handled it way better than we ever imagined. It wasn't good, but nothing like we expected. Blessed.

After her first cycle of treatments (October to February), we were hoping and expecting that she would get a LONG break. We were wrong. She got a month. A rough month at that. So, we were bakk in March. This time with weekly treatments. When I handed her this painting with her card that morning. She laughed and said chemo was kikking her ass this time. It was sad. She was exhausted. But she put my little painting up on her dresser and I hope it reminds her that she can still give this cancer a run for OUR money (good God they charge what's left of your life for a chemo treatment). I hope it reminds her that she doesn't just have to lay and let it have its way with her body. I hope even more that it reminds her that I noticed how hard she's fighting and that it means EVERYTHING.

It's been a long road and it's not over yet. She's scheduled for treatments up until September. Even still, we do the best we can with what we have. We make the most of what time we have. It's hard, but it could be worse. Shoot, it's not even ALL bad. I'm with my mom ALL day. She's so much nicer now. Much less cranky. She looks rested. I'd venture to say this is the only way she would have been convinced to take a nap. If she were physically able, I know she'd be at work. If I had ever felt that I missed out on any time with her when she was working, I'm getting it in now! If you're wondering where I've been. I've been in bed with my mommy. If she's awake, I'm where she is, doing what she's doing. Sometimes if she's sleeping, I'm doing that with her too. My hours are BANANAS right now! But guess what? I don't want to type about it anymore. Lol.

But as always, there are always rules...Don't ask why I didn't tell you...I just told you. Don't ask me how I'm doing. I know it makes YOU feel better, but my answer will always be the same. I'm as fine as one can be. That's what I'm going to tell you when you ask. I'm doing what I can...what I must...and when I can, which is most of the time, I do it with a smile, even when I may not be feeling smiley. She's MY Mommy and that's what you do for your Mommy. I'm also going to tell you that Mommy is hanging in there. If you want to pray, tell God that we want PEACE and JOY. We've got meds for the pain. However, if you all get together and petition on our behalf, this lottery win may be within our grasps. I wanna take mommy to Fiji..for the water! Or maybe just an American beach and I'll just buy her a bottle of Fiji. HA! Thank you in advance.

I know everyone says the same thing when lives are lost...or that they may be, but dammit, I'm going to say it again. LIVE. Life is short. My mom is ONLY 57. She worked HARD. Nearly every day. We are not balling. And now, when things are tough, there isn't much left. Ya'll know that she and I are terribly close, but still, I can't help but think we “shoulda would coulda” done more. You never know when the end approaches, today may be your last tomorrow. Don't ever miss the opportunity to tell your loved ones you love them. Buy the damn ice cream. Go to the party. Eat the cake. Dance on a table. Collect your tips. Throw some confetti! Mommy says so. I say so.

Lastly, I'm overjoyed to know that there are still kind and compassionate people in this world. Help has come from some of the most unexpected places. Our friends, family and even our neighbors have been a blessing to us during this time and if you're reading...THANK YOU (again)!!!   

Big Numbers: Day 142

I'm so excited! I finally finished something for my 36$5. I didn't do a single 5x7 for the month of April. I can't begin to explain how annoyed I was by that. However, I did 5 today. I'm trying to catch up. I'm on day 142 and 71/365. *falls out* Ok. Ok. I got this.

I really wanted to work on a big piece, but I figured since it's been such a long time since I even touched a canvas, that I'd start by getting my feet wet. I had fun. Here's what I did today.

72/365 and 169/1000 "Goo-Goo"
Because it made me think of Gaga. I guess it was the hair. 

In this picture, her hair is attached to her outfit. I didn't notice that before, but I think it's pretty cool. 

73/365 and 170/1000 "Puffin Sky" 

74/365 and 171/1000 "Pottered" (I watched all weekend, because I can.)

75/365 and 172/1000 "Lukky Shoes" 

76/365 and 173/1000 "Favored" 
Ok. That's it for tonight. Shooting for at least another 5 tomorrow. At that rate, I can get caught up by...November. lol. J/k. I'm not even trying to get ahead of myself with these predictions. I've come to learn that I never know what's going to come up. I'll just take it day by day. Final count for the day is 5 with 173/827/223 to go.


Big Numbers: Blast from the past (Day 104)

Sometimes I get orders for things that are SURPRISES! Then long after the date when they have been given, I remember that I never showed you. Well I did 10 of these little 5x7s as a graduation gift for some of my Soror's students. See, SYM1 is an all occasion get it here spot.


Ok, that's all. Since this is from a past day, no numbers update.


Big Numbers: Day 137

Guess who's bizzakk? I've been counting down from three orders for FOREVER, but I'm finally done and I can't begin to express how excited I am about that. I've been keeping myself from actually doing some of the things I wanted to do in order to get these things done and now that all of them are behind me (after this ever thrilling trip to USPS) I can get to work on what makes ME feel good. *throws confetti*

I only have one piece to show for today. I think this is the longest it's EVER taken me to finish one item. I actually only worked on it 5 or 6 days, but it did occupy a lot of thought time over the course of many weeks. I originally started when I first got the order and the drawing I did was HIDEOUS. It was exhibiting diva behavior, so I got mad at it and just put it off to the side.  Ultimately,  I decided I wanted to work on it in peace and with nothing else on my plate. I think it made a big difference. I still didn't do what was originally requested, so I really hope he likes it, because he hasn't seen it yet. I think I've explained this in another blog post (I really must work on labeling these things), but sometimes things don't want to be what you want them to be...and this vest put up a helluva fight. However, I'm happy about the way it came out. I remembered to do a step by step for this one. So here goes!

In the beginning....

3-4 coats of blue

Added the white to eyes and teeth. 2 coats of white.

The scribble makes it look like his head is on fire. EEK!

So, here's the change/addition I made. SMASH HANDS! 

I have no idea if this is different than the previous one. It may not be. 


FINISHED!!! 168/1000

Final count for the day 1. 168/832/228 to go. Beast mode for the next 3 days. Then we'll see what happens after that.


Big Numbers: Day 125

Hey ya'll. I'm still here. I've been painting daily. Still trying to get these orders out the way. I know you're like, but "SYM, you paint all this other stuff, why aren't you done with the orders yet? I mean, you only had 4 left THREE days ago." Well, it's no secret that I take orders for money, but what you may have missed is that I paint for fun. I paint stuff for fun in between my orders so that I can remember that I am enjoying myself. Sometimes I don't NEED to, sometimes I HAVE to. I suppose it's one of those I have to times. Not because my orders are particularly uninteresting this time, because that's not the case. It's just imperative that I try to enjoy myself a little right now. When I'm busy, it's usually something small that I can complete fairly quikkly, which explains why I've posted like 8 onesies in the last 2 posts. It's helping. I suppose. It also helps my numbers. :o) BIBS coming soon!

Remember when I told you that I had all these blank items in the bakk that I wanted to paint? Well, I just painted the last onesies!!! Woop!!! I'm considering selling custom ones as sets from now on. I'll have word on that soon. I don't have the energy to think on it right now. So here's what I did:





164/1000 (front)

164/1000 (bakk)

I should be able to do another post soon. I HAVE to get the rest of these items done by Monday. Then I'm painting from my head. This could be epic! lol. Ok. so 3/3/3 and 164/836/240!


TPT: SYM1 Did It!!!

Last week, I mentioned that my soror/friend/photographer R.Moon came by to capture my hotness with her camera. We had a chance to talk, which is always fun. But during her visit, Moon told me something so completely awesome it made portions of my life better. I started on this 36$5 Project to not only try to be more consistent with production, but I was really seeking my artistic voice. I wanted to be sure that what I was producing looked like me. I wanted to be sure that no matter what I did, you'd always know I did it, even if you couldn't see my signature. I wasn't sure I was doing that in some of my other work and it was just murdering me. Well Miss Moon comes over and she's looking through some of the pieces that have yet to be adopted and says, "I'd know your work ANYWHERE" and she starts pointing out all the little things that she thinks are consistently and uniquely mine. And I'm doing like a silent praise dance, because I thought nobody cared. *sniffle* Some of my choices are VERY deliberate and others are purely coincidence, but she noticed quite a few. That made me happy. Although I haven't been as consistent as I originally planned, even without producing multiple pieces per day, I have made my way to discovering what my artistic voice is. Yay!

Oh, and do not doubt that you will have the opportunity to purchase 1 of 365 of my pieces that will sell for only $5. I'm going to finish! Trust. lol. This SYM1,000 is a just a tad bit more formidable. Still....I got this!

Big Numbers: Day 122

I haven't painted in a few days. I was off handling family business, but I did manage to finish a few pieces last week that I never posted. As usual, my plan was foiled. I'm feeling like Pinky and The Brain. However, tomorrow I will make yet another attempt at world coloration...and decoration, eventually resulting in domination.

Oh, I do have a cool update though. It's the 5th month of the year. I haven't purchased a single bottle of fabric paint. Just as promised. Yay! So, peep the photos, then...tell a (pregnant) friend. I'm bakk to work.



157/1000 SOLD 


Here are the numbers: 159/841/243.