Big Numbers: Blast From The Past Day 120


I skipped a piece. Didn't mean to. Just forgot to share it with ya'll. Threw my numbers off a little bit. Even though I can barely count how many days/pieces I've completed from day to day, I hadn't misnumbered a piece yet. Until I got to this one. Well actually the one after it. All because I forgot to show ya'll! That won't happen again. I hope. It's not my intent to keep secrets. :D

168/1000 "iKikk Ass"

So, I painted this piece for my mommy for mother's day. I just wanted it to be cute like. I was trying to get her to smile. Her name means bee...honey bee...bumble bee...danger bee? Something. Insects of the impossible with a fierce sting. Creators of the impossible, never expiring, sweetener and the recently elusive. Where have all the honey bees gone? *sad face* Maybe they got what Mommy got and had to abandon their jobs like Mommy has to fight the fight that mommy's fighting. Hence the boxing gloves. Who knows?

Last October Mommy was diagnosed with cervical cancer. OH SNAP! That's never good news. The doctor decided that the best course of action would be chemotherapy. There was too much to remove. Too much for radiation. So, “battle beat cancer” ensued. Mommy began to call her treatments “kikk ass” sessions. At first the chemo was kikking her ass...then I guess she decided she would kikk chemo's ass a little bit too. Hence the boxing gloves. From what we had been told, she handled it way better than we ever imagined. It wasn't good, but nothing like we expected. Blessed.

After her first cycle of treatments (October to February), we were hoping and expecting that she would get a LONG break. We were wrong. She got a month. A rough month at that. So, we were bakk in March. This time with weekly treatments. When I handed her this painting with her card that morning. She laughed and said chemo was kikking her ass this time. It was sad. She was exhausted. But she put my little painting up on her dresser and I hope it reminds her that she can still give this cancer a run for OUR money (good God they charge what's left of your life for a chemo treatment). I hope it reminds her that she doesn't just have to lay and let it have its way with her body. I hope even more that it reminds her that I noticed how hard she's fighting and that it means EVERYTHING.

It's been a long road and it's not over yet. She's scheduled for treatments up until September. Even still, we do the best we can with what we have. We make the most of what time we have. It's hard, but it could be worse. Shoot, it's not even ALL bad. I'm with my mom ALL day. She's so much nicer now. Much less cranky. She looks rested. I'd venture to say this is the only way she would have been convinced to take a nap. If she were physically able, I know she'd be at work. If I had ever felt that I missed out on any time with her when she was working, I'm getting it in now! If you're wondering where I've been. I've been in bed with my mommy. If she's awake, I'm where she is, doing what she's doing. Sometimes if she's sleeping, I'm doing that with her too. My hours are BANANAS right now! But guess what? I don't want to type about it anymore. Lol.

But as always, there are always rules...Don't ask why I didn't tell you...I just told you. Don't ask me how I'm doing. I know it makes YOU feel better, but my answer will always be the same. I'm as fine as one can be. That's what I'm going to tell you when you ask. I'm doing what I can...what I must...and when I can, which is most of the time, I do it with a smile, even when I may not be feeling smiley. She's MY Mommy and that's what you do for your Mommy. I'm also going to tell you that Mommy is hanging in there. If you want to pray, tell God that we want PEACE and JOY. We've got meds for the pain. However, if you all get together and petition on our behalf, this lottery win may be within our grasps. I wanna take mommy to Fiji..for the water! Or maybe just an American beach and I'll just buy her a bottle of Fiji. HA! Thank you in advance.

I know everyone says the same thing when lives are lost...or that they may be, but dammit, I'm going to say it again. LIVE. Life is short. My mom is ONLY 57. She worked HARD. Nearly every day. We are not balling. And now, when things are tough, there isn't much left. Ya'll know that she and I are terribly close, but still, I can't help but think we “shoulda would coulda” done more. You never know when the end approaches, today may be your last tomorrow. Don't ever miss the opportunity to tell your loved ones you love them. Buy the damn ice cream. Go to the party. Eat the cake. Dance on a table. Collect your tips. Throw some confetti! Mommy says so. I say so.

Lastly, I'm overjoyed to know that there are still kind and compassionate people in this world. Help has come from some of the most unexpected places. Our friends, family and even our neighbors have been a blessing to us during this time and if you're reading...THANK YOU (again)!!!   

1 comment:

Sankofa said...

Mommy is a fighting hunny bee!!! I love it! Glad you have each other for support and love. I pray that all will be well. does Symommy like minions too? I have not forgot i just got a job. lol.