So, I might be a lil full of myself....

Disclaimer: I'm being all of myself today. I'm feeling just a little frustrated....I'm going to curse. I do that in real life, so...ummm...here it is.

Why do I think I MIGHT be a lil full of myself? I SWEAR people are always paying attention to what I do and what I'm doing/saying. At least I feel like ya'll are, but maybe I'm overestimating how many of you really give a fukk. Maybe it only appears like you all are paying attention because I know for a fact that I made an honest attempt to post, on numerous occasions, that I was NOT doing greek items anymore. I know I sent it to the group twice. I know I posted links to the blog...repeatedly. I know I even gave at least a two weeks heads up via status message on my profile and the fan page. Apparently, that's not enough to reach across the internet and nearly a month later...EVERYBODY wants to go hard for SYM.

When I was literally, I felt, spending precious time asking/reminding you that you might want to tell a friend...or invite people to the fan page...or that maybe you should order anything you wanted before I called it a day...nobody gave a fukk. The numbers on the fan page did not go up. My post views did not go up. I got a single order from ONE person that didn't want to miss his chance to get a greek item. And I wasn't even in the least bit mad. I didn't and still don't want to do those types of items any more. I hadn't been getting a lot of orders for greek orders anyway. BUT...2 months later...ya'll have been ASKING about these darn shirts. Ya'll have been posting pics...and telling people how great I am. Ya'll have been tagging your friends in photos of stuff they can't even buy. WTF for? I mean, I am still awesome. But I can't help but feel some kinda way. I know the Lord is testing my resolve. I can't even begin to explain to you how little greek stuff I was doing prior to making my announcement. Actually I can. If you look at the SYM1,000 album, you won't see a single CUSTOM greek item until you get to around the week I said I wasn't doing another one. lol. I know had I not said anything, nobody would be asking about this stuff now. I know it's a test. But look...

Now I gotta tell all these excited people I'm not taking their order, which makes me really upset, because not only do I have to turn down money (which couldn't be more helpful in my situation), but I'm about to disappoint some people who only long to experience the joy that is a hand crafted piece of SYM1 awesomeness, but if I take one order, I gotta take them all. I don't get paid enough to be that miserable. I'm stikking to my guns this time. I ain't gotta like it, but it must be done. 

I'm so honored to hear how much you love the work that I did for your organizations. Loving it is AWESOME...and I appreciate that, but if you're not bakkin it w/ BUYING it or getting someone else to, it's not doing anybody any good. If I have to produce stuff that doesn't sell, I might as well be producing things that make me happy. This is how the world works. This is why your favorite shows get canceled. This is why the contestant you like, but never voted for on idol doesn't win. This is why I can't get the best chocolate I've ever had up the street anymore. And I'm sad that maybe, because they can't get a shirt to proudly display their letters that someone may never experience the joy that is SYM1, but it's something we all have to come to terms with. It bothers me, but I'm content and will continue to stand firm on my decision. I hope that you're comfortable with it...because I can't say I made it all on my own. 

1 comment:

Sankofa said...

if it means anything i give a schitt about what u say and post!