Stakks are Bakk

I asked if you all wanted me to bring the stakks bakk. You did. So, I did. Easy as that. I know I'm late with the blog, but I added new stakks to the store the last time I did a big update. I still have a few left for purchase too. See:

Four of these are still available. Head over to the SYMStore to chekk them out. Of course I made some for myself too with a few of my fav prints from the collection. Oh, and I went fabric shopping this past week. That was DANGEROUS. I managed to only come away with a few things for the house, but the scraps will be new bangles! Yay.

Expanding My Art

I used to write publicly a lot. About random things. Things I noticed about people. My feelings. Ya'll used to like it. I also write quite a bit in private. Just for me and my future self. I've been keeping a journal since...high school and I can go bakk and read about who I was and still be able to identify with that person now. I'm still me. I was a wonderful teenager. Funny. Smart. Wise beyond my years. And in truth, at least in my personal experience, as we grow older, we simply become more like ourselves. We keep what works and get rid of the rest. Well now, considering where I am in life, having just lost my mother and doing a lot of things on my own for the first time, I feel like I'm at a fork in the road....or some kind of symbolic place that denotes an opportunity to change your course.


Everyone reaches THAT moment at a different time, but for me that moment is now. It's a BIG DEAL. I'm actually documenting it...some publicly, some privately. What's interesting is that I had stopped writing (privately) sometime after mommy began treatment. Maybe a year. In my journal, I slipped mommy's funeral program in right before I started writing again. It's like B.C. and A.D. Things are different now. Mommy didn't crawl out of that hole 3 days later (THANK GOD!)...but just like Jesus, she's still with me. However, there's a change in her being...and I marked it with a program. Of course, that also means I'm changed too. So, all that to say, I'm looking forward to sharing that with ya'll. Because it just may be extraordinary. It feels normal. Regular. But, like a friend of mine told me, it's about perspective. Of course it's normal to me. I'm accustomed to it. I live with my extraordinary on a regular basis. Superman doesn't feel strong. He feels normal. He knows he's not, but he's the way he's always been. It's not special to him.


Of course, like cancer, everyone's process is different. Mine feels special. Maybe because I'm experiencing it differently than most. Maybe they could have experienced it this way, but were too grief strikken to notice. Maybe it just feels different because whoever felt it before me didn't say anything. But it's probably different because it's me. All in all, this affects everything, and that includes my art. So bear with me while I try to make some BIG decisions. All I can promise at this point is to continue to deliver AWESOME...no matter what direction I choose.That's pretty normal for me. I can't help it. I came out the womb like that. :o)

Beading! I did it!

I never wanted to like "do" jewelry. That's not my thing, but as you may recall, I love bracelets. I thought making them would be an easy way to get some new stuff for myself. But of course I had to sell some to justify that "need." And that's how it started. I'm particularly fond of bangles, but I did that. So, after I moved into mommy's room I needed a fun project that I could do and not make a big mess. I decided beading might prove fun enough. I bought lots of beads. Starting projects tends to make me go a little overboard.

Once I found a little something that worked, I stukk with it until I got tired of making bracelets. I do that too. Jump into something head on...then move to something else when I get bored. I'll probably make more bracelets later, but right now I'm bakk to painting (on canvas). I'm tired of shirts too. I found beading to be oddly relaxing and it gives me that pleasure of completion that I enjoy so much.

Here's what I did:

 I made this one as a gift, but I may offer it for sale again later. 

This one is my fav. It was inspired by a Betsy Johnson bracelet my bestie had. 

Last chance to own a SYM1 tee???

Things are a LOT different than they were when I first started. Shipping has gone up like 18 times. Shirts went up. Even at the wholesale store. Paint went up. Bags, onesies, and pretty much everything else. Even the thank you cards!!! It's hard to just quote and run to the store and grab something the way I used to. I had been taking a lot of Ls. I really need to revamp my pricing and such. I'm actually wondering if I want to continue doing apparel at all. It's a thought. I haven't decided yet. That seems to be a theme lately. Sometimes I feel like my entire life is up in the air. There are pros and cons to that. But anyway...

I asked you all a couple of months ago for suggestions for 1 word shirts. That's how I decided on the shirts that are currently in the store. I kept the price exceptionally low, as I am really interested in and determined to clearing some of my inventory. There are piles and piles of random items limiting my space for personal storage. I want to take care of that. I have BIG plans for that space. I started with the tees, but later items will include polos, onesies, bibs and bags. I still have quite a few of those items left. Of course there will be more paintings, but those tend to take a little longer, so there won't be as many of those in the beginning, but they're coming!

Here are a few of the new shirts:

Have you been to the store yet? No? Well...clikk HERE.

I'm BAKK!!!!

It's been a long time since I've done this. It feels good to be doing something..."normal" for a change. Not that the things I was doing weren't normal, they were just different than MY normal. But here I am blogging and painting and selling again. You heard right. The store is OPEN! #POW

I'm excited to finally have it up and running again. I was trying to take some time to get things together here at home before I really got bakk into it, but truth be told, I was getting bored. I mean, I had things to do, but they were all dealing with surviving mommy's death. Call these people...mail this...go here...buy that...clean this...blah blah blah. I know all of this is a part of the process. It was healing, in the sense of moving forward and making progress, but not fulfilling. I decided to get bakk to work. I never stopped painting/creating. I just cut bakk considerably and I wasn't in a position to sell and ship the way I had been. I already had a few items that were just ready to post. So opening the store proved to be a little easier than anticipated, as was most of these things. Yay to that!

I know some people were concerned as to if I'd be ready to deal with this added responsibility, but I have it all worked out. I think. This store is considerably smaller than the other. This way I don't have to have all my inventory posted at once. Now, I can add new stuff from time to time and not always feel like I HAVE to make something new to post. I already HAVE new stuff to post and I'll restokk the store regularly. All I have to do is keep up and complete a few new items every week. I think this will work better for me as I still have a long list of things to take care of around here. Also, I'm not taking any custom orders right now. I'm thinking maybe next month. Haven't decided yet. We shall see. For now, just head on over to the store and see what I've done since I've been away! Push the button >>> BUTTON!

Feeling Accomplished

There are some systems that suggest that when you have a task list, you should prioritize and do the most important tasks first. Or the hardest task first. Well, that might be effective...for somebody. It doesn't work at all for me.

I'm a habitual lister and I'm also easily distracted. I'm usually doing too many things at once, so the lists actually help me to remember what I've done and what I need to do. Then I cross things off as I go along and I begin to see the list dwindling down and lots of spaces between items (because I list in my Blakkberry). That makes me happy. What works best for me is writing my list the night before and attacking the easiest items as soon as I get out of bed. By the time I've crossed 5 small things off my list, I'm on a roll. I'm feeling good about myself and about my progress. I'm excited about all the stuff I've done already and oddly enough it gives me energy as opposed to just making me feel like I've been working all morning. If I start a difficult task early in the day and it takes 4 hours, when those 4 hours are up, I feel like I can't do anything else. I'm tired. I'm annoyed. So, when I have big things like that, I may not get to as much in a day. It's odd, but whatever. It works.

I gave my list the business today! Only 1 task left. Could have done it, but I decided to blog instead. Lukky you!

P.S. I finished one shoe. Decided, after looking at it for a while, that I don't like it. I will be starting over from the beginning. Yay!! -__-

2 Things I Learned While Not Painting...Aha!

I'm bakk. Still working on the shoes. I say I'm about 35% done. I'm STILL not sure how I feel about them, but I'm going to rokk them anyway. I've already pikked an outfit and everything. I'm excited. To finish something. To finally be done with these shoes. To have something new to wear. That's plenty. I'm also hungry, but that's for a different blog. Anyway, while I'm waiting on side one of shoe one to dry, I figured I'd write a blog. I've learned two big things (so far) during my hiatus this past month.

Thing 1: I can't be a housewife. I was thinking, "I could do that. I could be a housewife." Spend my days taking care of home. That's what I do anyway. Especially now, considering mommy's not able to help much anymore. But, up until recently, I always had my work too. Man, when I made a decision to stop painting, although indefinitely, tomorrow suddenly became very boring. I didn't have anything to look forward to BUT laundry and dishes. Cleaning and bills. Mommy doesn't even have her weekly doctor's visits anymore, which completely ended my weekly date with self. Womp and double womp. I didn't realize how much substance work was adding to my life. So, I've resolved to be a working housewife. Ha! Now...I just need a husband. :o)

Thing 2: I had aha moment. As mentioned, repeatedly, I've been some sort of miserable since I haven't been painting. And when I'd post it people would say "well, just go paint." But I had resolved not to do that, so I could take care of home. I was putting everything before what my mind/body/heart was telling me to do. GO PAINT! Granted some things couldn't wait, but most of them could. I hadn't really considered it until now, how much I'd put it on the bakkburner...for laundry. For grocery shopping. For dinner. For anything else that was important. But everybody that has a 9-5 still grocery shops. They still cook dinner. They still do laundry. They probably don't sleep much, and I do...but still. Why is it that I felt I couldn't do both? I was treating my profession like a hobby. Damn.

That blew my mind. I am so ashamed. I get so offended when other people act like it's a hobby...like I just do this for fun, when that's the way I've been treating it. Not that I don't respect my work, it's just that I'm always finding something more "important." If I didn't have an order, painting had to wait. It was me taking advantage of myself, the flexibility of working from home and being my own boss. I think the fact that I enjoy painting made it easier for me to do that. I was feeling like I was sacrificing something that made me happy to do some things that I needed to do. Something that I considered work. Like if it's fun, it doesn't count. Silly, silly SYM. *shakes head at self*

Well, now that I realized that, I'm going to do better. No, I'm not opening the store again. Not yet. I still have to prioritize and I can't fully commit to both. I can, however, commit to making time to create. To give my work the respect it deserves. To put it on the list of things that MUST BE DONE, whether I'm bombarded with orders or have time to simply work on something new. It makes me happy. It keeps me even.  It pays the bills. It supports my family. I can't stay away. And that's the way it always should have always been. This is not a hobby. It just happens to be a job I like to show up to.